i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I want is dick and wine.
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