Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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