shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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