Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
