I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
