as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
