ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
