Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
