I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
