The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My pussy is not your playground.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
