laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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