Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize