I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
