fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
