someone get that fucking seahorse.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
