You made me cry and you don't even care
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
