No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
