Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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