Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
