mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize