i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
