Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize