You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You are the jesus of drinking
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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