apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
