after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
