I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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