He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
