I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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