go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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