The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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