how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
