bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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