Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
