I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
