Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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