doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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