In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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