there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
