sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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