I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
