Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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