I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
