I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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