What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
