i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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