Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
