I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
time to smoke my breakfast
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The power of my boobs compel you
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
