I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
