My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
