white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
