There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
