so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
