I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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