i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
