Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
