"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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