I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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