Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
