My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
