I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
