just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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