I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
