I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
