you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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